Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize