on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
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