I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
