Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
