two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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