Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
