Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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