My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
