school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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