We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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