y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
