I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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