Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
