My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
