the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
