I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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