I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
