Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
