Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
