i just had sex bonerless
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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