Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just google imaged poop.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
nutella sex= disaster
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
