So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
