i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
