do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
