3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
we should paint friendship bongs
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