Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
