i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
