i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You need a sexual gate keeper
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize