just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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