i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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