So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
