dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Michael Bay diarrhea
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize