There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
