Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I love having hate sex.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
