When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize