I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
