@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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