Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
