just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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