doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize