I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
