Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
