ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
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