Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
