you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
