When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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