found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
