were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I love you. Go after that dick
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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