let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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