True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
