That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize