do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
