Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
