It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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