Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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