I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
