Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize