jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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