Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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