I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
