Are we in a gay sports bar?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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