Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
