I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
