i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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