I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
